Why Mod Pieces Fell Off The Face Of The Earth For Four Straight Months
Please forgive my abrupt departure...
Back in October, you may have noticed that our emails stopped landing in your inbox, that we disappeared from social media, and that our site was replaced with a simple landing page.
Allow me to explain.
For some time, perhaps about a year, I had been feeling like something was "off". My work/life balance was out of whack. I was working 24/7 and feeling totally burned out. And most importantly, I wasn't very happy.
It took a full year of feeling this way to finally figure out why. As it turns out, the business I had created for myself wasn't aligned with the lifestyle I desired, or the people I am meant to serve.
It was as if the universe had been delivering subtle clues to me over the course of that year, but I was too damn busy hustling to even notice.
Back in late September...
Things reached a breaking point. The universe was no longer whispering to me, but instead, she was screaming at the top of her insanely powerful lungs.
To fully understand what happened in this moment, you must first understand how I had been living.
Since 2012, I'd been on the "show-wagon", exhibiting at show, after show, after show. I was busting my ass to be everywhere, and it was killing me slowly.
The funny thing is that shows aren't generally where I connect with my best clients. The online space is.
I was choosing to exert my time and energy on shows that don't actually attract a whole lot of "my people", when I could have been connecting with them using my MacBook alone. #duh
In addition to running myself ragged at shows, I felt obligated to do ALL the things associated with running a local and online business, rather than focussing ONLY the tasks that are most enjoyable and yield the best results.
I was pushing myself to show up on EVERY social media platform EVERY day, 17 times a day - while also attempting to blog regularly, stay on top of emails, communicate with my Mod Insiders, and still try to find the time to actually run the business.
And the biggest problem of all - I was sick to death of sewing pillows in the same 16 designs, week after week. I was done with mass-producing orders for larger stores. I missed the days of working one-on-one with dreamy clients, designing custom solutions just for them.
I was tired.
So, why was I doing it?
Believe me, that took 4 months of reflection to figure out. But, here's what I've come up with...
All that time, I had been identifying as a "maker". Doing things that makers do, like exhibiting at shows, designing product collections, selling to stores, and attempting to mass-produce my handmade work.
What I've since realized is that I'm not a "maker" - I'm a "designer" - a designer who happens to make things. This shift may seem slight, but for me, it was HUGE.
Reframing my mindset meant I was able to grant myself permission to stop, to get off the hamster wheel, to take a break, to gain some perspective, and to get some damn rest!
Now, back to that breaking point I mentioned earlier...
It was late September and the weather was warm - in fact, it was hot + sticky. My guy and I were exhibiting at yet another show. This one was outdoors, in a big-ol' field, complete with dirt, bugs, and everything else you'd expect to run up against in the country.
The first day was disappointing. As I should have expected, hoards of people lined up to shop but very few of them were the right fit for my work. (p.s. Learn more about my kind of people right here.)
Day two is when things really took a turn for the worse. The weather was not on our side. Mid morning, 70 mile an hour winds began to gust, blowing dirt in our faces, pillows off shelves, and lamps to the ground. As we stood there, with our hands over our heads, desperately attempting to hold down our tent, it became clear that somewhere along the line, I had missed the mark.
The universe was officially done with pleasantries, and was now slapping me across the face.
Thankfully, this time, I got the message...
"I'm not supposed to be here. I'm in the wrong place. I'm identifying with the wrong community, and attempting to convince the wrong people about the value of my work. Wake up and smell the manure, lady!"
And so, as I stood there, watching my lovingly crafted, one-of-a-kind lamps roll around in the mud. I decided to figuratively, and literally, let go.
My tent blew away, crumpled into a million pieces, and yet somehow in that moment, I couldn't help but feel relieved. As luck would have it, the sky immediately opened up, thunder began to roll in, and we were soon drenched with big fat drops of rain.
Now, if that's not a sign from the universe, than what the hell is?
And so, we packed up our shit and got the hell out of dodge.
The next week, just in time for my 32nd birthday, I began to notice how much lighter I felt. This is when I made the decision to stop everything - to let go of anything that was no longer serving me or "my people".
I shut down my website. I turned away clients. I pulled my work from stores. I deleted freaking Facebook from my phone. I ignored Instagram. And, I got some much needed rest.
Yes, cutting off multiple revenue streams so hastily was a tad impulsive, and certainly nerve-wracking, but it wasn't about the money. It was about my sanity, my happiness, and ultimately, the desire to do my best work for my best people.
I had no idea how long this break would last, or what I would do next, but I trusted I would figure it out and I felt confident that the universe had my back.
It was the right choice. I know, I'm so wise, right?!
Know what I did next? I slept, like A LOT. I also spent time with neglected friends and family members, enjoyed a peaceful - not frazzled - holiday season, and discovered meditation.
Fast forward to January - I was ready to get back to work.
As the universe would have it, the moment I let go of what wasn't working, made space for new things, and decided I was ready to get back on the horse, the coolest people, and most exciting opportunities, began showing up on my doorstep.
I got clear on the work I really want to do. The kind of work that lights me up. The kind of work that's perfectly aligned with my "designer" identity AND the needs of my dreamiest clients.
This website, and the offers and content within it, are the result of my big, cushy, indulgent, four month break.
I hope you're as excited about these changes as I am.
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